Short answer: You’re on high alert after infidelity because betrayal can trigger a sustained hyperarousal response — your nervous system treats a core attachment threat as ongoing danger.
Trigger warning: This post discusses betrayal, infidelity, and relationship distress. If you are in immediate danger or crisis, contact local emergency services or a crisis line.
This framework outlines a structured approach to evaluating emotional neglect in your relationship, based on research in attachment, responsiveness, and stress as well as clinical practice.